I completely agree with this:
The thing that amazes me most in life is people who try to teach me how to live in this regard.
They are convinced that I must lose weight, preferably to the standards described by a crazy doctor (Weight = Height – 110). This doctor is crazy because believing that all people are the same in terms of physiology and should weigh the same at any age depending on their height is like trying to find two identical leaves on two apple trees growing on different ends of the earth. Well yes, you can just shake your head at the second one, and the crazy doctor considered his system normal, without taking into account not only the psychological-psychological component, which always affects a person, but also the features of human physiology.
A slender girl my height would have a hard time moving at my weight. Her normal weight at a height of 160 at my age might have been 45. If I lose weight to 45, not only will I completely lose all my fat (which is totally unrealistic), I will also lose part of my muscle mass, and significantly: according to the most accurate calculations, the weight of just my lean mass is around 60 kilograms. So, if I weigh 45, it will already be dystrophy, I’m not even sure if I will survive that.
But let’s get back to ‘they are convinced that I must lose weight.’ For various reasons. First of all, because they believe that slimness is the norm and ‘there is no second option.’ All people must be slim or fit and not have excess fat. Well, or people who don’t care about themselves. That is, they really believe in it! I won’t even analyze it from any point of view now, it’s enough that it’s impossible. Even if all people are put on the same diet (I’m not talking about starvation or ‘Auschwitz’, but about normal balanced nutrition) and forced to engage in the same physical activity, among them there will be thin, normal, athletic, and slightly ‘lush’ people with different amounts of fat, within the limits that allow the body to lead a healthy lifestyle. (I’m not even talking about the fact that as recently as 150 years ago, thinness was considered unhealthy, and plumpness – healthy).
Yes, a plump and often full woman can be perfectly healthy! Healthier than some thin people, so don’t tell me that all the full ones need to lose weight now to be healthy. With men, the situation is a little different: the same percentage of fat in a full woman and a full man does not indicate the same state of health: obesity harms men much more than women, so the fat percentage in them is desirable to be lower. But, by the way, no one really complains about men, unless the man is extremely fat. And if so, a beer belly and fat on the back, arms, and neck – all this is normal.
Another reason why ‘I absolutely must slim down right now’ is probably that I suffer a lot and don’t love myself and am not liked by anyone. By the way, in the world there are a lot of men who like full women. Much more than it seems. They don’t always admit it to themselves because ‘the crazy doctor blinded everyone with the numbers ‘height – 110’. Well, and all sorts of advertising, ordered by narcissistic nerds… In general, it’s not prestigious. If it weren’t for that, I wouldn’t care deeply. Honestly, I like myself, now, maybe my weight is a little more than I would like and doesn’t allow me to do some of the things I want, but even if I were in the weight I was 10 years ago, then I had no problems at all. But even then, the only reason I wanted to lose weight was just not to ‘shine’ with my excess weight, so that people wouldn’t perceive me as an ‘outsider’ – an imposed, unnatural, unfair image.
When a person who has never been truly overweight sees me, he immediately assumes that I ‘let myself go,’ ‘I don’t care about myself,’ ‘I’ve grown fat,’ ‘I don’t take care of myself,’ and so on. At the same time, there may be no such thing at all. There are a lot of different reasons (besides those listed) why a person gains weight and why they sometimes can’t lose it even if they make efforts. I won’t even talk about the fact that some people like being full! Yes-yes! They don’t care, they just like it. Personally, I don’t want to be skinny, even if I had the opportunity. That is, I would be interested (for a short time) to be just to immerse myself in what it’s like. But if I had a choice of what body to have, I would choose Kim Kardashian’s. I would be petite, with fairly wide shoulders, a narrow waist, and a big butt and size 3 breasts. That’s what I like.
But let’s get back to the reasons. There may be many reasons. Sometimes, of course, this thing works ‘Whatever reasons there may be, all this is ‘excuses.’ The main thing is what you are doing now.’ Yes, sometimes the reasons are reasons, but a person needs to pull themselves together, stop eating all kinds of crap (very often, yes, it’s true), and get themselves in shape. And if they don’t eat ‘crap’? Do you know that fat people often eat even less than they need to maintain life and don’t lose weight? This is because there are many reasons why a person cannot lose excess weight without medical or psychotherapeutic intervention. Or if they start abusing themselves and lose weight, they can easily earn a lot of other problems, especially mental deviations. But for some reason, the guardians of ‘slim human ranks’ don’t care about that, the main thing is that it doesn’t sag, and what’s inside doesn’t matter to them. Because – I’ll let you in on a secret – many of those who believe that even a small plumpness is abnormal and should be eliminated, only care about not feeling uncomfortable seeing fat people. They don’t care about their health from a great height. This was well conveyed by a personally unknown comrade who once said ‘all the full (women) need to be forcibly treated.’ How about that?! To such an extent that all. He won’t calm down.
But what surprises me the most, infuriates me, and even hurts me are the advices on how to lose weight. I can understand when someone says something like “there’s nothing simpler: eat less and exercise more.” It’s a very logical advice that actually works. But only in those cases when – sic! – a person is overweight because they overeat and don’t move much. But not all overweight people are like that! There can be a huge number of reasons for being overweight – hormonal imbalances (a whole bouquet!), psychological and mental deviations, heart problems, and diseases of other internal organs. Saying something like this to a person without knowing their full medical history is not just funny, it’s stupid. It not only shows complete ignorance of human physiology but also calls into question whether the person has even heard of physiology as a science.
Another fantastic advice (loved by asthenic girls who think they can survive on morning dew): eat less than 1000 calories, and you’ll lose weight. This, of course, also relates to physiology (especially absurd to hear from a biologist!). Considering my muscle mass (I have quite a muscular frame under the fat layer), according to nutrition experts, I need 2400 calories just to sustain life. Yes, if we assume that I have no conditions hindering weight loss, if I reduce the calorie intake by 200-300 calories and add some exercise, I will lose weight. But even with all the desire, that’s 2000 calories. If I eat only 1000 calories, not only will I earn myself a bunch of health issues, but I might as well lose my mind! So don’t put yourself in the most foolish position by giving such advice to an overweight person.
Not to mention the opinion that “all fat people – eat a lot.” It’s a terrible mistake to think like that. Firstly, not everyone who eats a lot is overweight. There are plenty of people who eat everything and don’t gain weight. And overweight individuals often eat perfectly normally and can gain weight just on buckwheat alone. Yes, there are overweight people with a psychological dependency on food, indeed. But often they can’t handle it, just like a drug addict can hardly give up drugs. But very often, this is not even the cause of being overweight, but some organic disorders.
Exercising, moving, is undoubtedly necessary. But also with intelligence! Have you ever heard of telling an overweight person, especially a very overweight one, that they need to “run”? Or something like, engage in aerobic exercises: dance, ride a bike… Here’s another fantastic advice from someone who has never been overweight and probably assumes that the joints of an overweight person are several times stronger than those of a slender person. If even a slightly inactive skinny person is made to run, they will not only complain about their muscles but also about their joints unaccustomed to movement and can easily get injured too. And if you make an overweight person run, then injuries are almost inevitable – just imagine the sudden load on the joints of the feet and knees of a person whose weight exceeds the “normal”! (Normal is conditional, of course.)
Also, one should not forget that different people perceive different types of physical activity differently, even psychologically, so some weightlifting might be enjoyable and delightful for one person while it’s torture for another, and, of course, the effectiveness of such activities that don’t bring any pleasure will be much lower than expected.
But most importantly, people who have never been overweight don’t understand that if a person is not devoid of reflection and has not been raised in an environment where they were instilled with unconditional love for themselves and total acceptance of themselves, they live in a completely different world. It’s like how a “blind” or “deaf” person lives. An overweight person faces daily limitations imposed by their weight – psychological if they are just overweight and psychological and physiological/physical if they are very overweight. In the life of such a person, there are many nuances every day that are unfamiliar to someone who has never been in their shoes.
Therefore, you should not, you should never teach overweight people how to be. Never. Unless you’re paid for it because you’re a certified weight loss specialist. And if not, the only good thing you can do for your overweight loved ones is to support them in everything they need support in, accept them as they are, and (if they need it) constantly let them know that you love them regardless of how they look and what state of health they are in.
There’s also something else said on this topic in a very good Fat Post.
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