Many of us perceive happiness differently. Perhaps those who find the simplest forms of satisfaction – money, fame, power – conclude their search. Unfortunately, if humans didn’t evolve, I could say, “Thank God!” But eventually, the sources of illusionary happiness acquired by such people will reveal their deceptive nature to others and cease to provide pleasure, and the illusion will collapse.
Nevertheless, in one form or another, we either clearly understand or are just beginning to realize what true happiness really is. (And the pursuit of ultimate happiness is inherent in human nature. And even protest against this aspiration only proves its presence). I won’t dress this in words; it’s unnecessary.
The point is this. Today, under another song by Alla Borisovna, I suddenly grasped one trick. You need to move yourself. Nobody can do it, nobody can help. Only oneself. I think, perhaps (maybe I’m wrong, but I hope not), that all people in one way or another experience difficulties in matters of socialization, which are closely intertwined with the paths of spiritual and creative quests. Perhaps the attainment of that true happiness we all dream of is the learning process we all inevitably go through in life…
So, here’s the challenge. The summit. A summit stretching into eternity. It cannot be bypassed, there are no doors. Only conquered. You can whine, you can seek help – nobody will help. Everyone has their own Summit. And everyone must conquer their own.
I realized that there’s nothing to be done – I’ll have to work because going up is always hard. But you know, you can only roll downhill.
How many times have I told myself in moments of enlightenment that when things are bad, one must never think. You shouldn’t dwell on how and what’s wrong in your life. This process is worthless. Undoubtedly, it provides grounds to decide that nothing will change anyway, that life experience speaks of the futility of efforts, that the desired pleasure is unattainable. But the desired pleasure is not the same as the “highest bliss” that the Being aspires to.
What foolishness to endow non-existent pleasures with value, those pleasures that remain just pleasures and are incapable of being endless. Each of them loses attractiveness upon attainment, and that’s how you can distinguish pleasure from the “highest bliss”. And yet I knew the latter. I felt it. It cannot end. You can only consciously renounce it, suddenly deciding that some dubious pleasures are softer to the touch and more exquisite to taste.
All foolishness. Achieving goals – foolishness. Goals should be pursued for amusement, for fun, nothing more. Turning life into a pursuit of goals is a waste of time, which will surely be regretted in old age. Regret and resentment for oneself, who failed to stop for a moment the crazy rhythm of their crazy, useless life, spent on empty goals, who failed to halt their crazy thoughts to hear the silence at dawn, feel the fresh breeze on their cheeks, its play with tousled hair, the excitement of the heart in moments of amazing encounters. Why are we given feelings? To feel life.
For the umpteenth time, I write in the margins (now – in Osho’s book “Intimacy”) “The meaning of life is in LIFE.” Where LIFE (a philosophical term) is the reality given to us in sensations. IN SENSATIONS! Nowhere is it said that this reality is in reflections. With our senseless reflections, we create millions of virtual realities with the sole purpose of escaping from the one in which we can LIVE.
And here I am, at the Summit. How far you can see from here. How beautiful the sunset, magical winter, sparkling with diamond snowflakes, crystal sounds, tender touches. Every moment is a gift that you can feel right now with your entire being. With your whole body. With your whole heart. With your whole Being.
Sometimes I forget about this wonderful sacred place. I want too much of all those pleasures that seem so enticing to me. I forget that you should be grateful for gifts. Life is the greatest gift, and every day you should thank everyone around you. Everyone around you. Just like for all other gifts. But who asks for gifts? Right now, I am happy because I have my life. Yes, there is no [what seems to be] enough money in it to not think about them, enough closeness to not suffer from loneliness and the inability to share tenderness, enough opportunities to just have these opportunities. Just in case.
But in my life, there is something that perhaps many don’t have, and certainly something that no one else has anymore. And it’s within my power to do what I physically can do. For fun.
Let them fly!
To do, to continue to do from the heart, to continue to be oneself – to release this love from oneself like free birds from cages, never thinking about them returning home.
…In our hearts, like in dungeons, there is so much waiting for the liberation of happiness and love that for our lifetime there will always be enough of what can be liberated.
The most amazing thing is to live to the moment when the process of making love crosses the line beyond which you expect something from it.
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