Even the most beloved person is just a part of my vast, boundless World. To say that they are the entire World means greatly narrowing this boundless World down to just one beloved person. Firstly, it’s a conscious global limitation of oneself, depriving oneself of all the possible riches that the World can offer us. Moreover, it puts incredible pressure on the beloved person, who is now obliged to fulfill all the functions of the boundless World. More often than not, they are unable to cope with this task neither morally, nor physically, nor spiritually. The pressure is too much to bear.
I believe that there is Love in each of us. It’s just that in some, it’s deeply hidden beneath pain. When I open my heart, I open it to the whole world. I love the entire world. I am in love with the world.
Closeness… What does it mean to me? I am naturally open. Unfortunately, most people from childhood onwards don’t know how to open up. Quite a few know how to open up but don’t want to. That is, they only do it with those who fit their ideas (society, stereotypes, childhood impressions, Oedipus and Electra complexes, inferiority complexes, gender primitive status, etc.). Despite the fact that theoretically everyone can open up to everyone, nevertheless, each of us has ideas about the “ideal” partner. And unconsciously, we are guided by them. “I am drawn to him (her)” – this is not some ephemeral concept, although sometimes there is an “attraction” as if by electricity. But more often than not, simply because the image fits. The manifestation image. It corresponds to the stereotype that is inside our consciousness. And if it “does not fit”, we won’t even try to force it.
When I was doing an exercise in Kozlov’s “Syntone”, we had an exercise once. The girls stood in a circle with blindfolds on. The boys – in a second circle carousel. Since the group was called “Sexology”, the boys had to somehow show tenderness – kiss on the neck, face… well, something like that… When it turned out later who was who, it turned out that I found the kisses of the silent boy, who was very attractive to me externally, repulsive, and I definitely wouldn’t shy away from him. Everything else was pleasant, although among the present men there were at least three whom I wouldn’t even take by the hand… Heh. That’s it.
This is about the question of “attracted – not attracted”. Now about openness. I am convinced that the Most Wonderful Love – that magical feeling – is available to absolutely each of us, it’s enough to free this magic from the dungeons of fears and resentments. Moreover, I am also absolutely convinced that any two people who have thus completely freed their love and saturated themselves with it are capable of creating a successful union. Of course, spiritual closeness is important. It’s difficult for me to say, I myself have never been in such a situation and am just a theorist, but it seems to me that it’s about like this. Two absolutely any people can love each other. Another matter is being together – this is already a joint project, for which certain conditions are necessary. It will be more difficult if only one in the couple is like that. If he doesn’t help his partner to also open up, he will either have to leave or forgive everything because being “advanced” in this way is also a considerable responsibility. A ring of omnipotence, in a way.
What am I talking about? I’m talking about the fact that we still don’t want to settle for the first open person we meet. More often than not, open people are those who have experienced a lot in their lives and realized that only the openness of Love within themselves can help them be happy. On their own. For no reason. Regardless of whether there is a partner nearby. These are people who either had very little luck with partners, or for some other reason they were not loved much. Or not loved at all. Often because they are unlike others. In one way or another.
Our “love” is tied to the photo cards of “Clark Gables” and “Sharon Stones”, sewn into our minds with fantasies and dreams. We are tied to these punch cards, embedded in our consciousness. And our entire quest for “love” turns out to be just shuffling the environment database to match the elements of the environment with the data on these punch cards. Finding, we get the green light and strive. Having achieved, we assume that we have found Love. We don’t listen to ourselves. We continue to deceive our souls because the data operations say everything works. We don’t even suspect that we are riding a handcar until somewhere our own, native “jaguar” awaits us!
Tired of fighting windmills and getting stuck in tomatoes “with bones”, I decided to shake up the hierarchical concrete slabs, stacked in my mind with a meaningless burden.
Who are we to each other? This one is a boss, that one is a subordinate, this one is a driver, that one is a janitor. He is a father, you are a sister, she is a school friend. Who are you to me? And I am to you. Or… Are my friends friends to me or just wandering illusions…
We absorb systems of subordination and hierarchical steps, without even thinking about how they divide our worlds into waffle cells, collide strangers, and fiercely implement the “disunity of close souls”…
Having done my best to reduce the volume of reasoning and common sense, treacherously implanted into my being, I am trying with some additional non-physical spinal brain to feel who is close to me in this world. With whom I sincerely want to be, and with whom I am forced to “serve”. Whose closeness to me is conditioned by formal kinship, and whose – informal, unexpected, irreversible merger with my world… Is my blood relation an obligation to be close? If not close, then at least responsibility? Does the good done to me once, the soul opened to me once, condition me now and compel me to open up in that direction. Even when I don’t want to? Does the presence in my environment of a person who helped my birth with a tiny spermatozoon oblige me to communicate? What is family?
Either I am not close to anyone, or close to everyone. I know that I am completely open. At any moment, anyone who would be ready to be open to me can become close to me.
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