In October 2023, I was sitting in my beautiful three-bedroom castle on the shore of a Cape Coral canal, staring at the sparkling water, and my heart was breaking into a myriad of tiny, painful pieces. In my 50-s, I got ghosted. I know this isn’t LinkedIn content, but what came out of this breakup is worth sharing.
I struggled silently. I cried. I didn’t tell anyone, except my best friend. I didn’t chase him. I didn’t stalk his social media or show up at his place. At 51, you have to hold onto some dignity. But I still went through all seven circles of hell like anyone betrayed like this would. Being over 50 only added fuel to the fire. Am I still so gullible? So easy to trick? How could I have let this happen? How did I not see the red flags? My mind spiraled while my heart shattered into a gazillion pieces of shrapnel.
I applied all my wisdom and intelligence to the healing, but the spiral came back every time I stopped repeating to myself: “You are better. You are stronger. You can do it.”
Little did I know, back then, when someone ghosts us, betrays us, or leaves without closure, three things hijack our brain:
1️⃣ Attachment System Hijack – Your brain treats sudden loss like a danger alarm. It tries to figure out what went wrong—but with no clear answer, it keeps replaying events, overloading your nervous system.
2️⃣ Cognitive Overload – Memories haunt you, thoughts spin in circles, and it can feel paralyzing. Your brain can’t make sense of what happened, so you stay stuck.
3️⃣ Reward System Withdrawal – Your brain misses the connection, the validation, and the pleasure the relationship gave—even if it wasn’t healthy. Cravings and obsessive thoughts kick in: “I hate them. I love them. I wasn’t enough. What have I done? I miss them!” And the loop repeats.
Later, when I conducted additional research, it confirmed that if you don’t intentionally interrupt this spiral and process the multi-dimensional loss, it can drag on for months, or even years. Often, the brain pushes the feelings deep into our subconscious, where they quietly control your life.
On day three of this unmanageable torture, I said to myself: “Whatever I need to do for this to never happen again—let me do it.” And that’s when I created a Strategy. I was determined to rebuild my dignity and autonomy after the betrayal.
For several days, I poured everything into my journal. What I later named Release → Uplift → Strategy became the foundation of Untied™. At the time, I didn’t realize I was intuitively following principles from attachment theory, neuroplasticity, emotional regulation, and rewiring the reward system.
I didn’t build Untied for clicks or applause. I built it because I had to survive. Because no one else could fix what had been broken inside me.
But I didn’t just survive. I rebuilt. I cut the cord. I reclaimed my life. Untied™ isn’t just a course; it’s the map from devastation to freedom. I want to share it with you because it worked for me.
And it gave me a head start in the business I recently launched. It also became my first product. I want to share my talent for strategic framework creation and my passion for intelligent approaches to self-development.
It took me some weeks to go through a massive transformation. Today, I’m a completely different person, and in a way, I’m grateful for being ghosted. Because if it hadn’t happened, I would never have created Untied™.
Check out the framework here: https://upgreatly.com/untied
